10 Things most Southerners do not understand about the North

1- We don’t Speak Pidgin English

tumblr_lnz0wj2fPh1qinvcko1_400.gif

“Can’t you understand common pidgin?” No, sorry I can’t

Most southerners are so used to speaking in pidgin english that they assume its some Nigerian lingua franca.  unfortunately, most northerners “learn” pidgin in order to communicate with our sisters down south. In truth, most of us simply can’t understand why ‘English’ is appended to it

2- We are not all Hausa

tumblr_n0r4l7Xgul1so02sfo1_500.gif

“Oh you must be Hausa” No, I’m not

Have you heard about that Nigerian diversity our leaders like to celebrate? well, its more likely Northern diversity. The North actually contains 80% of the roughly 500 ethnic groups we have in Nigeria. Hausa is just a language that got a foothold long before Nigeria, thats why a number of us speak it.

3- We Are not all Muslims

200_s.gif

“Are you a muslim?” No I’m a christian

Might be gard for you to understand, but some us actually do go to church every sunday and some us do worship old spirits when ever we want!

4- We Don’t give a damn about your Biafra or your oil

3e8b7afb22e3e3af48a1c4c54fb2ed4fa0426ba7d90d432e535c51eef41adfdf.jpg

At the outbreak of the civil war, most Northerners were actually chanting “Araba” meaning lets secede. so it might actually be hard for most “biafrans” to come to terms with it, but the average northerner was actually on their side.

But ofcourse the Army boys have a different idea.

5- We don’t watch Noolywood

tumblr_lh8sshNuJp1qb6ku4o1_400

“Do you know Omotola?” “you mean Omo, the washing powder”

No offence to omosexy, but that will probably be the replyyou’ll get from an average northerner. Our cinema is actually multi lingual filled with hausa, kanuri, nupe and yoruba movies, with some english movies creeping into Kannywood.

Most of us actually know more about Kate Hudson and Amita Bachan than we do any of those big Lagos stars

6- We party, we Drink, we cahoots

24d5c6300256249c430fdb771220a847.gif

far from the timid house bound image you have of us, we actually do drink Heineken and Smoke Rothmans and Weed and Codeine and Tramal and all the other wild things no one talks about.

In fact, by NDLEA statistics Kano and Kaduna have the highest number of drinkers and drug abusers in all nigeria , Shocked? It gets worse, our Girls do it most!

7- Middlebelt is a catch phrase for “i’m not in power”

n.gif

I know your leaders tell you about something called a middlebelt, that we hate ourselves, but truth is we all become middlebelterns when we are not in power.

But of course, the rising shariah sentiments has brought about a religious divide!

8- We don’t live in a desert

n.gif

A desert can actually be glamorous, like Dubai or Las Vegas but sorry to disappoint you, the Savannah covers much of the northern nigeria!

9- We don’t steal your oil

Shell-SplatAndHorns-284x300

Its probably tempting, especially when you hear about the Indimi’s and the TYs but the truth is that the average northerner has very little to do with “your oil”.

We’ve survived for much of our lives on the bounties of the Niger and we probably would for a lot longer. Kano has the highest no of dams in all Nigeria  plus the huge wetlands that cover the three dozen or so tributaries of the river niger

10- This is Northern Nugeria

pic

No, the Nigeri and Benue are not the borders of Northern Nigeria and Kwara nad Benue ARE part of northern nigeria.

Its probably no consolation to neo Afonja or adventurous Biafrans but its the truth, Benue Kabba and Kwara are provinces of the old northern region and to this day their governors sit in the forum of the North.

10- We actually do like you…. A lot

giphy

No, this is not one of those cliche “we are all one” endings- We actually do like you.

Statistics have shown that fulanis are more likely (than any other tribe) to marry outside of their tribe. while fulani-kanuri and fulani-hausa marriages are the highest they are followed by fulani Igbo then fulani- yoruba then Nupe-Yoruba and then Yoruba-igbo marriages. So the to 5 inter tribal marriages are actually led by the North with 3 out of the 5 being between northern and southern ethnic groups.

So Mr Kanu is actually wrong, there’s a lot happening in the “other room” between northerners and southerners

 

Leave a Reply